So I am sitting with my wife outside a Waikiki coffee shop when one of her single Japanese lady friends happens to come down the sidewalk towards us. This girl is gorgeous in that she is a surfer girl with a dark tan, incredible body and a very fun personality.
Despite standing above me, still wet from the ocean and holding her board to her left side I found myself staring at her as she spoke to my wife in Japanese.
“Please, Please… don’t you know of any good men you could set me up with?” she asks my wife. Surprised that such an incredible looking woman would have any difficulty meeting a guy, I asked her (rather, I had my wife translate) why she was still single and having problems meeting men.
A few minutes of “Japanese conversation” between my wife and this sexy lady ensued… then, abruptly, my wife turns to me and says:
“She can not find a guy who is worth having as a boyfriend… She says they are all… disappointing… “
Not what I expected to hear initially; but after some time to think about what this woman was trying to say I can clearly see why she is having a hard time meeting that special American man to be her boyfriend.
Looking back at several of my wife’s friends over the years they all seemed to have this same problem. Japanese women have a very high standard when selecting the men they date and eventually settle down with.
Over the many conversations I have had over the years with some of these women here is a list of some of the “issues” they feel (and I do, too!) that American men have that excludes them from dating attractive women.
American Men: No Class or Manners
If you have not noticed many men today seem to lack basic social skills and manners! This is unfortunate, as a man who is very confident and self-assured is not afraid to be polite, courteous and aware of other’s needs.
[easyazon-image align=”right” asin=”1411636600″ locale=”us” height=”500″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51iGDAHae%2BL.jpg” width=”333″]For some reason men here in the United States seem to have gone down the wrong path over the past 20 years or so, where it is considered cool to be rude and condensending towards their fellow man. This very selfish and immature behavior does not go unnoticed by the beautiful women around them.
It seems in today’s age few men open doors for women, understand how to use the words “thank you” and prefer to be aggressively smug when engaging in conversation with either a man or an attractive women they may have an interest in.
The lack of class demonstrated by young men today is truly appalling! Not that we need to have our young people be like Pat Boone from the 1950s, but at least be aware of others’ feelings when in a conversation with those who may be older than themselves.
American men have secretly gone down the wrong road regarding this topic which has more and more foreign women becoming less interested in dating your typical American male! Case in point: my wife’s friend mentioned above!
American Men: Fat & Dumpy
My wife’s friend from above is truly a beautiful woman who is very physically fit; with that fitness being a result of spending hours in the surf seeking the perfect wave. She is all of 5 feet 3 inches tall and must weigh less than 110 pounds.
Not to forget that she is truly beautiful and has a deep golden tan that accentuates her Asian features.
Why would such a woman be interested in an overweight American guy?? The answer?! She isn’t! And that is her problem.
It is not only her problem but many Asian women share in this problem being that they are thin and fit when compared against the men they have to choose from here in the United States.
All one needs to do is to look around them and you will be hard pressed to find very many normal shaped men. Most American men are overweight, with many of these men on the verge of becoming obese.
A beautiful woman who comes from China, Vietnam or Japan will have no interest in a guy who is fat and out of shape! Most men in their own countries are thin and make a considerable effort to take care of themselves physically.
When my wife’s friend had a boyfriend from six months earlier she had to settle for a somewhat chunky English teacher for a boyfriend. Unfortunately for him he could not keep up with her in regards to anything physical. She is a surfer, tennis player and fitness buff.
He stood no chance at all!!
Needless to say she dumped him after only six weeks of dating. Now she wants to meet a fit and successful American man. The problem is they’re very few fit American men. That is truly sad!
American Men: Thug Attitudes
The last time my wife and I went to a steak restaurant, sitting across from us, was a young couple, probably in their late twenties or early thirties. The female of this couple was very attractive and dressed very sexy and provocative.
[easyazon-image align=”right” asin=”148269977X” locale=”us” height=”500″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51OvgvoaSdL.jpg” width=”312″]The male of this couple dressed like he was a member of a gang with a baseball hat on backwards, wrinkled tee shirt, gold chains around his neck and sunglasses worn while he was inside the restaurant. And let me not forget the tattoos all over his arms and covering most of his chest and neck!
He looked like a thug loser to the max! But it was more than just his overall appearance that created my negative impression of him; it was how he treated his girlfriend and how he treated the waitress.
Without going into details all I can say was he demonstrated a great deal of attitude that one would associate with an uneducated, angry and aggressive gang member. What this attractive girl was doing with him was the question both my wife and I were asking ourselves throughout our meal.
Unfortunately this is not an isolated occurrence as many young men seem to be drawn to immature aggressive behavior, modeling those who are in gangs or on reality TV shows. Beautiful and attractive women will not be attracted to this type of guy. If they are there is un-doubtfully some issue within the woman’s psyche that has yet to be resolved.
When in Tokyo you do not see men acting in this manner! Most men in Japan have a solid career position and wear business suits to work. They are polite and respectful of all those they encounter every day. American men are the exact opposite.
This is very unfortunate as where once American men were highly desired by Japanese women this is starting to change in a big way.
After all, why would a beautiful, sexy girl want to date a guy who is a wannabe thug?
American Men: Effeminate Beta Males
Why is it that every time I enter a Starbucks coffee shop the guy behind the counter is very feminine acting? I mean, what happened to men being… Men? Do I treat these guys like they are women or do I treat them like they are men… even though they come across like a girl in how they interact with customers.
[easyazon-image align=”right” asin=”0312360118″ locale=”us” height=”500″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51YErSaUR0L.jpg” width=”325″]These beta males are everywhere! And most of them seem to be under the age of 35. Not sure why that is, but there must be something in the gene pool that is creating these feminine acting males. While I am sure some of these beta males are not gay, their feminine personalities will only repulse attractive women!
While I am an older guy in my early fifties I don’t recall having very many beta males in my high school class. Almost all of the guys were …guys! There were one or two who were somewhat gay acting; but that was because they were …gay.
The younger American male seems to be metro sexual and very comfortable with that designation. Unfortunately very attractive women will have little to no interest in dating such a guy!
What has happened to the American male? Why are all these effeminate guys coming out of the woodwork in the last 10 years? What the hell is going on?
Now I am starting to understand why my wife’s very attractive friend is having a great deal of difficulty meeting a quality American man to date! Perhaps she should look in the state of Alaska as that is where all of the lumberjacks currently reside.
I just can’t imagine a beta male being a lumberjack!
American Men: No Ambition/Low Ambition
If you have not noticed, quite a few American men seem to be somewhat lazy and not very motivated. I mean, they are all around us every day; standing at the bus stop to get on the bus, sitting at coffee shop at 1:30 PM or sitting at home watching sitcoms from 1986 on their TVs in the middle of the day!!
It is as if they think money will be handed to them by some money god! Many of these guys live with their parents or they mooch off of their friends. I am sure that this is not what they want because what they want is to have is a very nice life but without the need to have to work and earn it!
Our society today is a consumption society. There is no emphasis on getting off your butt and making a name for yourself in the business community like there was 30 or 40 years ago. These aimless men become quite comfortable in their low ambition lifestyles which only becomes exasperated as time goes on.
I have talked to a number of these type of guys in passing and most seem to have a great deal of difficulty in attracting any woman at all. If they do meet and date a girl for any length of time usually the girl is fat and lazy as well.
Unfortunately this seems to be what the average American male is turning into. The “no ambition/low ambition” guy is not very appealing at all to the truly beautiful women out there looking for a MAN!
American Men: A “Welfare” State of Mind
Of course we would be remiss if we blamed these lazy low ambition guys for their situation. While I do believe 80% of the problem is within themselves, we are now living in a society that is geared towards government handouts and social acceptance of receiving welfare benefits.
Some men prefer to have their income come from the government in the form of a welfare check vs. having to go out and actually work for it. This is very pathetic and sad! I mean, what kind of man does not want to go out and earn an income to support himself??
What is equally troubling is that there are a large number of single women who feel the same way and are very comfortable in receiving government assistance however they can. Therefore their view of men doing the same thing is not as critical as it may have been years ago.
The career oriented, business focused American man is slowly dying. They are being replaced by lazy welfare oriented guys who prefer to hang out at coffee shops or at the corner where the 7-11 is located. Working is a bad word for them!
All I can say to these American men is be prepared to be married to a fat, nasty, ugly woman who probably has four kids from four different guys. Oh, by the way, she is now pregnant again… And it is not yours! Yikes!!
American Men: Depend on Mommy & Daddy
When I first came to Hawaii back in 1987 I was somewhat surprised to learn that most men my age still lived at home with their parents. This was unusual to me at the time as all of my friends and acquaintances from my college days had very little interaction with their parents after leaving home at the age of 18.
While I was your typical single guy, age 27, when I first arrived I had probably two nickels to rub together and a credit card with $600 of available credit on it… That’s it! I was your typical young career focused, newly “college graduated” American guy. I paid for my own college education through working numerous jobs and taking out the expected school loans.
However the guys here in Hawaii who were my age, or even older, all lived at home with their parents. They owned brand new nice cars that cost one year’s salary – paid for by mommy or daddy. They all had their mom do their laundry. They had their mom make their dinner for them every night. And they had their parents paying for their educations. Not something I was accustomed to… Nor did I respect it very much as well!!
Flash forward to today, 2013, and this situation has become even worse. It seems many men are very dependent on their families for their financial success. As someone who has been self-reliant my entire life I find these type of guys to be very weak, dependent and very substandard in every way imaginable.
Whenever I encounter a young man or woman who may be in their mid-thirties and they still need their parents for financial help I lose all respect for them! My philosophy is that by the time you are 25 you should be able to stand up on your own two feet and make your way in this world.
For all of you who still live at home with your mom and you are 32 years old… shame on you!! I would be very surprised if you have a girlfriend. I mean who wants to date a weak, beta male?!
Not the beautiful, exotic Asian surfer girl mentioned above, that’s for sure!
American Men: Observers & Not Participants in Life
Why are many American men, especially young men, predisposed to living their lives through the internet? Between Facebook, Twitter and MySpace… and not to forget Google+, many young men seem more comfortable typing a keyboard talking about life instead of living it!!
[easyazon-image align=”right” asin=”B001I9ZTLW” locale=”us” height=”220″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/31o2DP80NbL.jpg” width=”250″]I can still remember a very good friend of mine who seemed to live to play video games. Even while he was at work he would be entrenched in some sort of video game hoping his supervisor would not discover his gaming addiction.
Needless to say this constant desire to be on the computer every waking hour left him somewhat un-appealing to women.
At the age of 35 he is still single and gaining a lot of weight as his entire exercise regime is his right wrist moving a mouse over a mouse pad. How sad. How very sad!
Very often I would encourage him to get out and socialize with other people in his age group. His response to that was that he was, via his network of gaming friends throughout the United States.
But if pressed to even list two good friends to go have a beer with here in Honolulu he could not come up with two names. Again I say… very, very sad!
Where once men played sports, or battled over the chessboard, or smoked cigars and drank brandy discussing the latest investment opportunities, this has now been replaced by internet based social sharing websites where the actual relationship with others is crafted through the keyboard.
Very attractive and beautiful women will only find this type of behavior very un-masculine as a real man has friends and participates in activities that earns him social proof and demonstrates his masculinity.
Needless to say my video playing friend is not the exception but in fact the new norm. Now at 35 years of age I give him very limited odds of ever meeting a woman who would take an interest in him.
The last time both my wife and I came across her sexy surfer friend mentioned above was about two weeks ago. Apparently she did meet a guy that she felt somewhat attracted to… and he was a tourist from Italy.
Needless to say her interest in meeting a high quality American man has dwindled considerably; so, therefore, she’s looking for a man who can hold her interest much longer than any American man could ever hope for.
American men wake the hell up! You are falling down on the job… of being MEN!!!
article: American Men Are in Decline!