I was talking with a co-worker who happens to be a very sexy and attractive surfer girl. She is Asian, extremely fit and very well educated, as she is a product of the local prestigious private school most aspire to send our kids to. The conversation was about her lack of interest with many of the men her own age (28) and her frustrations in dating any guy who would make for a good long-term boyfriend.
I could see her dilemma. After all one just needs to look around where you live and see a growing number of directionless young men who seem to be more interested in acting tough and dressing like they are gang-bangers.
Between the tattoos, strange looking baseball hats they wear and the chains around their necks they look like they want to be thirteen for the rest of their lives.
So what’s happening to the American male? Why is he looking more and more “thug like” and less and less successful?
What happened to the self-made man who is an alpha male and he takes care of those who cannot take care of themselves? This guy is a vanishing breed only to be replaced by very selfish and un-motivated young men!
My coworker from above has all but given up on meeting any decent guy she would want a relationship with. As she put it: “where are all the guys who take care of themselves? Dress to impress me? Have a desire to have a career? Where are they?”
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The Thug Mentality
At the time of this writing there is a news story out in the media about a young family that had an altercation with a large motorcycle gang. In brief: the family’s vehicle was surrounded by this group of motorcyclist, and then, accidentally, tapped one of the motorcyclist with their car, resulting in said motor cycle gang chasing, harassing and ultimately assaulting the driver of this vehicle (which contained his wife and child). This happened in New York about a day or two ago.
To me these men on motorcycles are loser thugs who are cowards and lack a great deal of class and integrity. What they did was shameful and accurately portrays them as an unlawful gang. Unfortunately these types of guys seem to be EVERYWHERE!
The thug American guy is a Crips gang member in L.A.; he is the guy who is 35 and hangs out with his buddies during the workday drinking beer while living off his parents; he is the guy who hangs out at the local 7/11 hoping to score some marijuana… he is probably your neighbor or neighbors son! They are everywhere!
Take a walk in your town’s downtown area and look carefully at the young men milling about. I can just about guarantee what you will see will be thugs with tattoos, gold chains and pimped out cars almost outnumbering the regular folks.
No wonder my very attractive co-worker is having a hard time meeting a man of quality. The type of man that she would like to meet are shrinking in numbers!
How Did This Happen?
All societies change with time. Look at the Roman Empire as an example. For the American male there have been three major contributing factors. Not to say these are the only factors, but for me these seem to be the easiest to identify.
Single Parent Families: Back in the late 1970’s and early 1980’s there seemed to be fewer single ladies who had kids. At that time either the girl was single with no kids, or had a kid and a reluctant guy who was the father who was going to marry them.
Fast forward to 2013 and it seems many, many women are having kids and without and partner to help raise the child correctly in a proper family environment!
As this has almost become the norm over the past twenty or so years what has happened is many of the babies grow to be maladjusted young men.
With no father figure, a mother who is either working two or more jobs to put food on the table, or on “welfare”, these young men grow up with no real role model for them to emulate and guide them through life.
What results is many of these young men flounder in life and end up with no clear direction, or worse yet, end up in gangs or a life of crime!
Our Welfare State: Most American men strive to be successful. I mean, to be American is synonymous with entrepreneurship and high paying careers! This has not changed and will continue to be the case for many generations to come.
However, over the past 10 or so years our welfare and food stamps programs are growing to unprecedented levels. While many people do very much need this assistance there are many who abuse what the government offers them.
This is a result of poor economic opportunities offered to our young people today as compared to twenty or thirty years ago. I can’t tell you how often I speak to newly graduated college students who have no job prospects but do have a ton of school loan debt! Many of these young people may not find a job as it relates to their college studies for YEARS!!
Many options available to these young men are to work part-time jobs with nominal benefits, if any. No wonder many young men seem to just give up and go down a less than desirable road! You see this in spades in all of the U.S. inner-cities, where gangs seem to rule the streets.
The Media: One major contributor to this problem of the decline of the American male is the media. All our news outlets seem to be liberal in their views. MTV plays very thuggish music videos that are very complimentary of the drug and sex lifestyle. And let’s not forget about the hate filled lyrics of many (not all) Rap tunes.
If you are a young boy of 12 and you are living alone with your single mother who is never home, with only MTV as you guide in life… how would you turn out at age 18?
Probably very influenced towards the thug lifestyle which they seem to promote through their music videos.
And let’s not forget the “16 and Pregnant” cable TV series that is very popular on that network. Very selfish 16 year old girls getting pregnant by even more selfish and irresponsible 16 year old boys. To sum up this TV series is to say the girl gets pregnant and the guys don’t stick around to be a father! A pretty sad example of where we are as a culture and society at this time!
My attractive co-worker is very disappointed in the quality of men she has available to date. I don’t blame her one bit!! But, this is where you… yes YOU… have an opportunity to be different from the rest, thus standing out and become the guy women would like to date.
With more and more men seeming to be lost you can recognize this dilemma and make a conscious decision to be different. Start moving your life forward in all areas by putting yourself through college and getting a career that is in demand. Get VERY FIT so you have the body woman desire. Become the “man” that others seek out for help and assistance because you are wanting and able to do so.
There is no better time to be the guy that stands head and shoulders above the average guy than now. Make it happen!
article: Decline of the American Male: Thugs Who Lack Class