Dating a Japanese girl can be a very challenging proposition for many American and European men. They are very different from the women of the west, both in their beauty, innocence and opinions on relationships.
I am going to cut to the chase here and give you two distinct categories of what Japanese women expect from relationships. Category one is all the positive things they contribute and expect as a result of being in a relationship.
Category two are the negative things they either bring to the relationship or have unrealistic expectations of said relationship.
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In case you are wondering “what makes me an expert” on this topic, I have dated numerous women of Japan and am currently married to a beautiful woman from Tokyo.
I also have numerous friends and acquaintances that have married Japanese women and have witnessed the quality of their relationships – both good and bad.
Japanese Women Relationship Expectations: Better to be Informed!
And before you read the info below please keep in mind that if you are fortunate enough to find a real partner in the Japanese woman you are dating you have struck gold! Hang on to her and enjoy your time together!
On with the show! (Updated: 06/12/2016)
The Positive side of their Expectations
ONE: They expect their men to be successful. This is positive because all successful men need a reason to stay successful, and having a sexy and beautiful Japanese wife is a good reason for any man to strive for more success in his life.
If you are a guy earning 100k per year you will have no problem attracting a beautiful Japanese girl. But, keep in mind that she will expect you to stay on the success track.
She has an image to maintain and having a successful husband is part of the attraction she has for you. Lose your status and you will lose her!
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TWO: They expect Affection. The reason why many Japanese women date western men is that western men are more open to affection and romance. Japanese men are somewhat “under-developed” in this category, thus having a relationship with a guy from the U.S. seems much more appealing to them.
They will want you to be affectionate, caring and supportive. They will expect this as this is one of the reasons she chose an American guy over a Japanese guy!
THREE: They expect not to have to work! This is very common amongst all the couples I know where the Japanese wife does not want to work, and expects to be a stay at home house wife.
This is great if they are good at taking care of the household and can be content with caring for the kids, cooking the meals and doing the laundry!
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FOUR: They expect some travel and adventure! You won’t be getting a boring girlfriend or wife when marrying a Japanese girl!
They are very accustomed to traveling all over the world with many living in foreign countries for extended periods of time.
My three last Japanese girlfriends before I settled down with my current wife all lived in Europe for over a year each.
Two of these ladies had their PhD’s!
Their view of international affairs was very knowledgeable and complete when compared to the average American woman who has never even finished Community College!
The Negative side of a Japanese lady’s Expectations.
ONE: All Japanese women expect to control the family finances. This often creates turmoil in the household when the man is told to hand over their paycheck for the wife to use to finance the family expenditures.
American men are not accustomed to this, and when they say no to their sexy young bride she starts to give attitude in return.
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Not only attitude, but often the women will take some of this money, his money, and put it in a separate savings account he knows nothing about!
I personally know three guys who had their wives do this to them; using this money as a cushion for when the wife left them for another guy!
TWO: Japanese women, especially the ones from Tokyo, expect you will provide a very high standard of living for them… and your kids. No joke here!
You will be expected to purchase for her only luxury brand purses, makeup, automobiles and clothing!
If you can not keep up with their expectations here they quickly start looking for the next guy, usually you find out after she has packed her stuff and left the ring on the kitchen table for you when you get home from a hard day at work.
If you think I am kidding here I am not as my wife had two Japanese lady friends do just this as they felt their new American husbands could not financially support them at the level they felt they should be supported at!
I say the husbands were lucky to find out early in these marriages instead of 10 years into it!
THREE: Japanese women expect to travel… on your dime! Most Japanese women have traveled a lot when they were over the age of 25. Most live with their parents until the day they get married, and while living with their parents they bank their entire paycheck thus allowing for them to travel whenever and where they would like.
When they get married you now become to de-facto “parent” who provides financially for her lifestyle, which of course includes travel! Trust me when I say this, when putting up $5k to $10k for a trip to Athens or Paris because that’s where “she” wants to go starts to hit the pocketbook pretty significantly.
Especially when she wants to take these trips… without YOU! Ouch!!
A friend of mine would send his wife on trips all over the world, causing him some significant financial stress (and he was a physician!); only to find she developed a “special friendship” with a male co-traveler she met on one of her trips!
They are now divorced with my friend paying a substantial amount of alimony. Ouch again!
FOUR: Japanese women expect their husbands to work long hours! If the husband or boyfriend is not putting a lot of time in his career/professional they look at him like he is not worthy of their time.
I have also witnessed that many Japanese prefer to not have their husbands around all that much, thus giving them enough space to enjoy with their friends and be able to have a high quality of life without the burden of a spouse around.
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I have always thought Japanese women to be selfish, and after many years of being around them, dating them and breaking up with them I still think they are the most selfish women on the planet.
In my opinion their motto should read: “Marry me, give me money and leave me alone!”
FIVE: Japanese women expect not to work or contribute financially to the household! Not all, but most of the Japanese women I have dated thought the responsibility of the husband was to provide financially for the family.
If you ask your Japanese wife to get a job and contribute she would look at you like there was something wrong with YOU!
I currently have a friend who is dying financially as his business has taken a hit due to the recession. As a result of this he is earning less than half of what he used to earn just three years ago.
He is behind on his mortgage and ate through much of his savings to float the business as best as he could.
In asking his wife to get a job to help with family finances she flat out said NO and that it was his responsibility to make the money! With his young daughter in preschool (that he’s paying for) his wife has ample time to go out and get a job!
She refuses and even has threatened to get a divorce and take their kid back to Japan with her if he keeps pushing her to get a job!! Yikes!
So there you have it, the expectations of Japanese women when they enter into a relationship with a western guy. There are some very good points, but then again there are some serious things to consider before you elect to tie the knot with any of these exotic beauties!
Here’s a video from a Japanese women giving a presentation on dating Japanese women. Enjoy!
article: Japanese Women Relationship Expectations: Be Prepared!
Updated: June 12, 2016