Dating is a very peculiar game, during which the majority of men are focusing on all of the wrong women (we ALL want the sexy ladies, right?!). One of the biggest issues is that of physical attraction… and how it clouds our judgement.
Men also tend to date women who do not share interests or hobbies, long-term goals in life, or similar personalities. The perfect mate shares many interests and goals, while supplying a personality that not only relates to an individual but strengthens their potential relationship together as well.
Instinctively, men and women are driven to find mates with perfect symmetry; this is what the human race considers beauty or handsomeness.
Men are also hardwired to choose women who have large breasts (due to the fact that they are used for feeding offspring) and wide, child-bearing hips.
Society has also influenced the general population to believe that being skinny or underweight is the better choice.
This has created a “perfect” image which is usually hard to find. What we forget is that this is geared mainly towards sexual reproduction rather than compatibility.
When basing a mate solely on someone who looks “sexy”, it is a disaster waiting to happen!
Finding a Matching Personality
As we all know outer beauty is only skin deep; personality is one of the biggest factors as to whether or not dating will be successful. If you have found someone you are attracted to, it’s time to test out the personality.
The ideal personality is different for everyone. Some may need someone who is aggressive and driven, and less affectionate. While others may need someone who is more relaxed about life, who is kind and compassionate.
By determining your needs in a mate’s personality, you can accurately judge compatibility for the long haul. The potential date must also strengthen your weaknesses while also demonstrating a willingness to cope with your unique personality.
For example, if you are bad with money, they should have good financial management skills; if you are quick to stress, the potential mate should be able to easy alleviate stress or handle it well. A life partner is your second half.
Goals and Dreams
Goals and dreams in life should be similar or there will be major problems down the road. [easyazon-image align=”right” asin=”0984562206″ locale=”us” height=”500″ src=”http://ecx.images-amazon.com/images/I/51CLxHXlE-L.jpg” width=”333″]
If you want children in the future, your date should want children.
If you want a steady home in one city, your potential mate should not be a continuous traveler or drifter.
Career paths may also need to share characteristics, but this tends to be less important.
Conflict between the two parties regarding “life interests” can result in a harsh separation years down the road when one feels it’s time to accomplish those goals.
If you are an ambitious guy and she is a lazy girl… you will, at some point, stop looking at her as a potential partner, and probably start viewing her as a financial burden!
Hobbies and Interests
Let’s face it: without similar interests or hobbies, there may not be much to talk about! If your biggest interests involve business and investments, yet hers are shopping and gardening, it could be impossible to find things to discuss within time.
In worse case scenario, partners can be completely uninterested in, or careless about another’s hobbies or interests. This can result in one partner being bored during the couple’s dating activities.
If both partners share many interests it allows them to have more to discuss, projects they can complete together, and other commonly desired fun activities that strengthen the bonds of a relationship.
To add an interesting note on this topic from ModernMechanix.com
“Then there was the case of the ardent fisherman, hunter, boater and golfer. He dated outdoor type girls, firmly stated that he wanted his wife to have an “interest in the outdoors.” However, psychological tests indicated this was really the last thing he wanted.
What he really expected of a wife was that she should be a homebody type who would let him enjoy his outdoor pastimes with male companions. He didn’t want a girl who was crazy about the great outdoors, but one who would be crazy about an outdoor man!”
So be sure to look beyond the “bikini bod”, the golden tan and check out the personality under the hood before you make any type of commitment! If you make a mistake in your selection you may end up pay for it for years to come!
article: Why Do I Keep Attracting the Wrong Woman?