This is a common question that many men would like to have answered. Tell me, how many times have you been asked out on a first date by an attractive lady? Have you ever wished that a particular woman did ask you out, but she never did? Let’s explore the topic of why don’t women ask men out.
Keep in mind this is my theory and not proven scientifically. However, it is based on experience, experience of others and pure observations. Some of you may agree and some of may disagree with my ideas on the topic.
Women since the age of time in western cultures have always been the sex that is courted.
They are the sex that takes care of the home, bears children and is courted until marriage.
The male is the aggressor, the provider for the family and the leader of the family unit.
Up until recently it was solely the man’s responsibility to pursue the woman with whom he has an interest in.
Fifty years ago it would have been very taboo for a lady, a proper lady, that is, to ever pursue a man. Even to this day it is still considered the man’s job to propose marriage… not the woman’s.
But times are changing and more women are becoming the aggressor when it comes to dating. I personally have had a number of women approach me and ask me out or even buy me drinks at a night club (here’s one such night described in this post here).
Men “desire” women more than Women desire men!
That’s my thinking that really explains why few women ask men out on dates. We men are very sexual creatures and we are incredibly driven to sleep with as many women as we can before we expire. We all know this to be true.
Women on the other hand are much less sexual and more emotional creatures. They are driven by emotional and behavioral signals of men after spending time with a particular man. While there may be initial “physical attraction”, for women it is less important than the need to be with a man they find interesting, can be a provider and has social value.
Men desire women. On the other hand, women make a more emotional based decision to be with a man. Men chase… women choose!!
Here is a study reported in psychologytoday.com that confirms that even in today’s modern age women still prefer to be asked out and do not want to do the asking!
“Most of the survey participants had been single in the past year, or, if they were in a relationship, they were asked to think back to the last year that they were single.
The first question we asked was whether they preferred to ask someone out, or would rather be asked out on a date.
….a great majority of the women, 93%, preferred to be asked out — only 6% preferred to do the asking. The majority of men preferred to do the asking, 83%, while 16% preferred to be asked out on a date.
It is interesting that more men preferred to be asked out (16%) than there were women who preferred to do the asking (6%). That difference suggests that 10% of men may be waiting quite a while for a woman to ask them out on a first date.”
If you are a guy and you are afraid to approach a woman then you are truly losing out. So, do whatever it takes to gain the confidence to approach women, for if you don’t you will be a very lonely guy!
article: Why don’t women ask men out?