You’ve probably heard it a lot in your life – on the news, in magazines, from your friends and probably from your ex-girlfriends: Men can’t say no to sex. It’s often presented as the excuse for many things, from marital infidelity to assault, but is it really true?
Are men just animals, powerless against any remotely attractive woman who comes across our path? Why do we sometimes act that way?
The secret behind why men can’t say no to women is simply that we can, but there’s too much pressure (both internal and social) not to.
Social Expectations & Sexual Needs
Always being in the mood for sexual conquests is part of the social performance of masculinity, which means it’s how everyone thinks men are supposed to be, so that’s how most men act.
If you don’t want to have sex with a woman, there’s an ingrained fear it will reflect on your masculinity, your heterosexuality, or your ability to perform.
If you think that being ready at all times is part of what makes you a man, it can be hard to say no. How does this apply to the dating world?
Well, if you’re saying yes all the time (to women/sex), it makes it a lot harder to find out what you really want.
Here’s an interesting tidbit on this topic from PsychologyToday.com
“After months of reading and compiling results, the answer was clear. There is a substantial difference, and men have a much stronger sex drive than women. To be sure, there are some women who have frequent, intense desires for sex, and there are some men who don’t, but on average the men want it more.
Every marker we could think of pointed to the same conclusion. Men think about sex more often than women do. Men have more sexual fantasies, and these encompass more different acts and more different partners.”
But Not Every Woman!
Another problem with men’s ability to say no is the fact that nobody likes the feeling of having to reject someone. No matter how high your sex drive may be, you’re not going to spark with every woman you meet, and sometimes that has nothing to do with how attractive she is.
If you try to force yourself to feel the desire to sleep with a woman when you don’t really have it, you’re causing a rift between your mind and your body.
You’re wasting time trying to assert your masculinity when you could be meeting someone you do feel genuinely attracted to and could be interested in for more than just sex.
So if you’re out with a woman and you’re just not feeling it, it’s okay to say so. Be kind about it, but be firm enough to ensure you’re not sending mixed messages.
Despite everything you hear, men can be picky too. Maybe it’s true that most of us are capable of sleeping with the majority of women we meet, but should we really want to?
The next time you feel like you can’t say no, ask yourself if you’re trying to improve your dating life or simply trying to prove “something“.
Now that is something to think about!
article: Why Men Can’t Say No to Women?